I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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