Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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