Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
