if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
