Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
