that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Randomize
