I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize