oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
