happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
