Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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