I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
