he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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