well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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