I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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