How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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