just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
