We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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