She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize