I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
