just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I love having hate sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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