Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
