We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
