Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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