i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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