Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize