why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
