did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
