i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
