Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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