You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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