Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
