i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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