I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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