I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
