you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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