from now on my penis is your penis
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
