I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
