I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
