wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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