my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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