You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
