You just made me feel so damn special
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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