Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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