chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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