I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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