Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
