You really coming over, don't trick.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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