Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
