Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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