I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
