So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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