we're blogging at a bar
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
