My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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