white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
