I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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