I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize