I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My feet surprised me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
