i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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