Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
