i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
