i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
