Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
