Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
