She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize