i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
