I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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