You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
