Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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