Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
