The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm too high and old for this...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize