he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Did I show you my penis last night?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
