Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
