I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
