4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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