I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
