Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
