can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
